Back at it again with the writing

I’m older, wiser, more logical, less narcassistic and also feeling less inspired to write but still think its a good idea and still love run on sentences.

I used to write because it helped me close the loop — put a pretty bow on an idea I had and make it nice and tidy. But I’ve started to form an opinion on life: it’s messy and there is no bow to tie.

Still, I’ve figured out some stuff in the years that took me from 21 to 27. If you’re younger and feel like you’ll get something out of it — awesome. I hope so. But in all honesty, nothing will change you like life happening to you. In case you want to take a peak into your likely future or tell me I’m completely wrong, let me share my major revelations of these 20 something years. Here goes nothing:

Living in the present is a thing

I’ve achieved a good chunk of what I imagined for myself in my 20’s and ya know what? It isn’t like my world flipped upside down and became a million times better once I reached this ‘ideal’ for my life. My standards have changed and this ‘ideal state’ feels normal, if not enough. I don’t feel like some majorily accomplished bad ass.

That raise? That amazing trip? The high is definitely there but it fades after a while and you’re left with plain old life which doesn’t have to be that plain or old.

I’ve learned that I don’t want to be famous or make a billion dollars or be the best of the best anymore. It’s not because I lack ambition. It’s because I know that outward ‘wins’ won’t give me peace of mind. Fulfillment (still figuring that one out) and gratitude for the good in my life — as it is right now, not what it could be — is what gives me peace of mind.

It’s very boring and unglamorous but the truth of it is, all that pendulum swaying — all the highs and lows of life — are not what make or break your happiness. Slow and steady wins the race. Happiness is a consistent mental check-in to say “I’m grateful for my life as it is today.”

Surprise, you’re not immortal

This path to body enlightment was rocky. Like anything in life, you don’t really pay attention to it until your forced to.

  • Get into a consistent sleep habit, preferably with at least 7 hrs of sleep most of the time.
  • Warm up before you work out (and screw muscle strains).
  • Actually work out and do it several times a week — for your brain and to keep your hot bod.
  • Food. Put some veggies on your plate at every meal and don’t become obsessed. Everything in moderation, including moderation.
  • Don’t binge drink all the time. It gets old fast (and funny story, you will too). You’ll also start to see a direct correlation to your immune system function (or lack there of) with every episode.

Relationships are fluid

Relatioships aren’t solidified things: the commitment might be but the relationship itself is ever-changing and you have to go with the flow that it brings if you want to stick to it.

Don’t cling on to relationships for dear life. If they need to breath a bit, let it happen. I don’t quite believe in fate but a string that still has me hanging: when it comes to relationships (platonic, romantic, familial) if they’re meant to be, they’ll come around again. If not, be grateful for the connection you had and let it be the foundation for each of you to have new happy relationships.

Pain brings new perspective

When you go through things, you’re miserable and it’s like you’ve put on grey-colored glasses. It sucks the joy of things and life is just different in every dimension.

It sounds fucked up but I really hope this happens to you.

  • You’re a tough cookie. Now that you’ve been through this, you feel a lot more invincible. A shitty day? Try a shitty month or year or more! You’ve got this.
  • You are more understanding. Everyone is fighting their own battles. You take things less personally when you realize the root of behaviors have a lot to do with that person and their shit and not you.
  • But you care less. You don’t put up with or tolerate small nusances because they just don’t matter in the grand scheme of things. When you’ve been to hell and back you see what matters to you and you prioritize it. All the other stuff falls to the wayside as it should.
  • You see the importance of good. Good in people, good in the world. When someone is a fundamentally good person, all the little bothersome shit won’t even phase you. You’ll hold onto them because you’ll see how important that is in life. Good people are the life vest’s that will buoy you to the surface when life tries to swallow you up in a sea of hopelessness.
  • And you’ll drop the shallow acquaintances. Yes, they’re hilarious when you’re all drunk but do they call a cab when you’re puking in the bar bathroom or ditch you to go home with the hot guy? BYE. Not worth it.

So there you have it. My revelations of my so-far 20’s. I am not as wise and old as I will be 5 years from now but I’m certainly glad I’m not 21 anymore. Here is to more discoveries and perhaps a complete unraveling of all my learnings so far.

Writing when the feeling is right.